I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
