She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
