my room smells like sperm. sweet.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
