were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you will always have a special place in my vag
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
