I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
