Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
