I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize