I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
