I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
there was a trapeze. enough said
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
