You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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