Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
