In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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