i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
