i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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