I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
