You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
