My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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