he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
