Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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