"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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