If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize