yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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