But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
