You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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