i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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