$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
