the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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