I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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