did you get engaged???
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize