Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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