I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
