I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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