Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
