I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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