I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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