can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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