Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
