the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
