know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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