Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
