Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
