Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
