dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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