I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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