i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
