I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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