why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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