i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize