Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
