How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
