wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
