I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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