Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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