I hate your face
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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