I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
