your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
