You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
