i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
