I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
two words...techno handjob
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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