Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
