yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think I sprained my soul last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
