i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
