he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
