remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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