i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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