We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
