"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
