Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
