he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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