Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize