No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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